It’s no secret that I’m more than a little obsessed with pop culture. I’m ok with the fact that I can spout off the names of all the Jolie/Pitt babies but I don’t know my kid’s social security number. I don’t mind that I can sing most any pop song recorded from 1974-2000 but I can’t remember what I wore yesterday. However, there are a few things I’d like to purge from my brain, including but not limited to every tune from the “Cocktail” soundtrack, a few tipsy evenings over the years and the entire existence of Jon and Kate Gosselin.

Hey! Have you heard that Jon and Kate have onetwothreefourfivesixsevenEIGHT kids? Didja know that Kate is super bitchy and has a reverse mullet? Maybe you’ve read that Jon is a cheater, cheater birthday cake eater…how does this enhance our lives at all? I’m putting my money on the fact that it doesn’t. Not even a teeny tiny bit. In fact, I can feel my brain cells committing suicide as I write this.

So nobody was surprised when the Gosselins announced that they would be divorcing. The mister had already been photographed a few dozen times with his young lady friend, and had even jetted away to Utah for a weekend of skiing and who knows what else, where he was-you guessed it-snapped sitting in the VIP area of a media-covered event with “the other woman.” On his wife’s birthday. Not the brightest bulb in the chandelier.

I read over the weekend that Ed Hardy designer Christian Audigier was now Jon’s BFF and they had met up on Audigier’s yacht in St. Tropez in the French Riviera to discuss a possible children’s clothing line (the new girlfriend was along for the ride; she’s the daughter of the doc that did dear ol’ Kate’s tummy tuck). According to People Magazine: “Audigier tells PEOPLE that he approached Gosselin with the idea after noticing that the reality show dad often wore his tattoo-inspired T-shirts on Jon and Kate Plus Eight. “He’s huge,” says the French designer, who may also collaborate with Gosselin on a specialty motorcycle collection. “Everyone knows this family. And everyone will know our clothes. They’ll be fun, easy clothes for kids.”

I would like to go on record saying that this is a really, really dumb idea.

The dude has no apparel experience other than wearing clothes. He’s not plugged into the world of childrenswear (last time I checked the children were ALWAYS dressed alike, mostly courtesy of Gymboree, which is about as far from Ed Hardy as you can get). He’s dopey and mumbly. And he has very questionable taste, to say the least.

The latest report from Audigier’s rep says the line isn’t really happening, despite the fact that they seemed pretty cozy just a few days ago. Maybe someone was smart enough to stand up at the Monday morning staff meeting and threaten to go on a hunger strike if they hired a guy who’s biggest claim to fame is that he spawned a bunch of kids and then exploited them on television. Maybe someone realized that having the marble-mouthed public adulterer as a brand ambassador is a no-no. Or maybe Gosselin’s asking price was too high. Who knows. For the love of tattooed-inspired tee shirts, phone accessories, trucker caps and bottled water, keep that man away from the cameras. And your college-age daughters.